‘Tortured by transphobia’: The woman left in pain by the NHS

After living with chronic testicular pain for most of my life, my hopes for a better future came crashing down when the NHS cancelled my operation – just because I’m trans.

When I was admitted to hospital with acute testicular pain, the doctors weren’t sure what the problem was. For years they couldn’t find an answer, but they treated me with respect.

That all changed when I transitioned at 37. Whenever I turned up to an appointment, the doctors were visibly uncomfortable. They would belittle my symptoms and cut my appointments short – it felt like they were racing to get rid of me by discharging me back to my GP. Some clinics refused to treat me because my case was “too complex”. And a doctor said my treatment was aiming to maintain hormone function and fertility, even though he knew I was a trans woman and I’d had a vasectomy.

After years feeling ignored and dehumanised because I didn’t fit into a normal treatment pathway, a specialist booked me in for surgery to remove my testes. I was looking forward to the possibility of living without pain. But a week before the operation, it was cancelled. The hospital had decided it should be classed as gender-affirming care, and I would need to be referred to the gender clinic to access it.

I was distraught. They told me I “wouldn’t be having this problem” if I was a man. They didn’t even offer me an alternative treatment for the pain. I was pushed aside and forgotten.

Nearly a year on, I’m still living in pain. I’m on the waiting list for the gender clinic, but it could be another three to five years before I get the surgery I need.

I feel like I’m being tortured by the NHS’s transphobia. And I know I’m not alone. So many trans people are being denied healthcare because of their identity. And until the NHS takes trans healthcare seriously, people like me will continue to suffer.

*Lisa’s name has been changed to protect her anonymity.