Katrina McDonnell: Married at First Sight is a recipe for putting women in danger

Content warning: violence, rape, sexual assault

They were in the apartment paid for by the TV company, on the sofa, when Lizzie’s on-screen husband tried to make her have sex.

“And I kept saying no, that I didn’t want to do it,” Lizzie* told the BBC. “But he kept saying, ‘You can’t say no, you’re my wife.’ And he just did it anyway.”

The allegations at the centre of the Married at First Sight scandal are deeply shocking, with two women telling Panorama they were raped by their on-screen husbands while a third alleges a non-consensual sex act. The women speak about red flags, violence and the threat of an acid attack.

But these claims are also deeply familiar. Women who say that men ignore them, threaten them and attack them. Men who follow a playbook of ownership and violence ripped straight from the frantic posturing of the manosphere.

And then the denials. The men accused of abusing women on Married at First Sight deny rape, violence and threats, and claim that all their actions were carried out with the women’s consent. The production company says it combined psychological checks and vetting with “gold standard” systems to look after the women’s welfare, telling the BBC that it had “acted appropriately in all these cases”.

But the red flags should have been raised before this show was even commissioned. Married at First Sight puts women in intimate situations with men they have never met. Under the glare of the studio lights, watched by an audience of millions, they follow the script of a fake relationship, and feel pressured to perform by the promise of a shot at fame. The format is a recipe for hollowing out meaningful consent. For putting women in danger.

We’ve seen this movie before. From Jeffrey Epstein to smart glasses and from Grok deepfakes to the rising tide of the far right, powerful men are trying to control women’s bodies and to make money from their pain. And when we speak up about it we are disbelieved, ignored and attacked.

All over the world, women are coming together to say no. We’re calling time on the men who treat us as objects, as obstacles to be trampled over to get what they think they deserve. We’re pushing back at the companies who create the environments that risk abuse, and then cash in on the inescapable results. Sexual abuse is not inevitable. We need to listen to women and root out the systems which put them in harm’s way.

• Lizzie’s name has been changed to protect her anonymity.